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Saw this posted on FB today and it's very apt with my mood lately. Also applies to emails...

I've been meaning to stop by here but i either keep forgetting or by the time i'm here i have nothing to say.

I've been feeling a bit down/lonely/blah lately. Fed up with things but feeling too blah to do anything about it. I miss male company, alot. It's harder now as i have feelings for someone, well HAD feelings for someone but it's 'complicated' (one for the da kids there).
There's two guys i have in mind, or had in mind. One takes photos & videos of ladies he meets and shares them online and the other likes wearing ladies undies, stockings etc. I sure know how to pull 'em! I have not made contact with them since. Not that there's anything wrong with men wearing ladies stuff after all i do favour trousers lol. To each there own i guess...

I also seem to get married types. Particularly, the ones who don't let on about it until you're sucked in. I think i'm pretty good at spotting them now tho.

At this point i'll take whatever i can get, beggars can't be choosers after all. Men don't find girls with 'great personalities' attractive. It's ok I know what i look like, i've learnt to deal with it.

Waggin Off...

Ssshh...i'm bunking off work for a sec. Tell no one.

I had an email about some anal pics that someone left as a reply to a post i made in 2007 so thought i'd delete it lol.

Last Saturday night my ex popped up on IM and asked if i was into girls. His g/f wants a 3some and she thought of me. :/

Told him i'm not but hey....at least i was asked once in my life! LOL

Male and female sexuality is so different. The FMF version is purely for the guy, unless you actually are into girls of course. If i were to go that route i'd go for the MFM but even then i'd rather not...someone always gets left out at some point!
I'm more of the thinking that a fantasy should stay as that - a fantasy.

Anyhoo...back to work!!

I'm soooooooooooo bored!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mondays always suck...it's nearly 11pm and i'm bored (hence a LJ post!). Nothing on TV so I have Dave on in the background, HIGNFY then QI and then i guess i'll go to bed. I should make the most of it really, once the month starts again i will be busy with CDO stuff.
Spent the day getting previews ready for the new releases, just waiting on the tubers to finsih their jobs so i can get mine done. Again.

Passport is getting there. All signed & stuff but went round the postie and needed my birth cert. Been so long since i looked on the gov's site that i forgot about that so waiting for a copy and THEN i can post it off!
I've had over a year to do all this crap...sshhh over there, i know! I know!! lol

I know you sometimes read this Dan, so thanks again for helping me out!! Was really good seeing you again after all these years! I've missed you more than i had realised.

Right then...logging off for QI and bed - i'm so rock and roll!!


Been feeling a bit blahhhhh lately. Anyways...

Check up at the doctor last week and my blood pressure is now normal - hurrah!! I have to have a blood test on Tuesday tho and now worried as it's for diabetes & cholesterol. I know i'm gonna fail on that. Doncha love living in a nanny-state. Leave me the hell alone!

Couldn't get to sleep last night, I miss a cuddle. That's a real girly thing to fess up to but it's true! I need to find a good cuddler...and one that's not embarrassed to be seen in public with me (which narrows the list a huge deal). Starting to think everyone is these days!

I did it again!!

Made a tit of myself that is...

Last night my ex pops up on IM, where still 'friends' so it's all good. He still flirts with me even tho he has a g/f *shrugs*. And we're chatting...nothing saucy but it ends with him saying something along the lines of you don't miss me, you're looking forward to your trip to the US coz the guys will love your accent and your boobs. ha ha stuff...really.
So i end with i do miss you and log off.

Anyone willing to swap lives out there? Mine is a bit awkward at the moment!

Saturday night just coming up to midnight as i post this and i've had quiet a boring night. Nothing on TV nothing to do, should just go to bed but i'm not tired so just gonna watch the endless QI repeats on Dave till i can feel my eyes closing.

Thinking out loud time...

I know that's never a good thing but on i go...

Been having (possibly) bad thoughts about my ex. We still chat on IM, nothing bad, we're just good friends *yawn*. I miss him, or maybe just miss being with someone?
Been missing 'that' so much that i have gone back to WW & possibly meeting a guy from there.
Am i really that mad...why yes i am. You should know that by now.

Also plans for heading to the States to go stay with Kelly are up in the air a bit. She wants us to go to Faerie Con which is in February...don't even have a passport and no idea how long it takes to get sorted even if i sent it tomorrow. I thought she said it was in March but i just checked it. Oops, so i guess we could go next year. It's my own stupid fault i've taken so long to get my shit together! Bollocks!!

*EDITED TO SAY* Happy New Year!!! lol


I had a mad 5 minutes a couple of days ago and deleted this account. LJ have this thing where if you want it deleted they will but you have 30 days until everything is off their server and it's gone for good...so i changed my mind and i'm back lol.

I think i will delete this at some point soon tho, there are some posts i don't want showing to the world and i really can't be arsed...ahem, i mean i don't have the time to go through them and lock them one by one.

Work is great, super busy recently so i may have ignored a few emails and 'stuff' to do them at a later point. Hate putting stuff off!

I am going to the States next year tho...did i post about that before? Can't remember...anyhoo...off to the USA all on my todd, whoever he is.

I'm not nervous of flying at all but i am nervous about going to the airport, checking in & getting on the right plane. I have this sense of dread that the plane will land and no one noticed i was on the wrong plane and i end up in Siberia!
I'll be staying with my boss in Salem, Oregon. Hoping to go to Comic Con while i'm out there too...the big CC in San Diego!! Disney too and the part i'm most looking forward to - my fav artist is having a show..well is going to try very very hard to get one ready while i'm out there and if all goes well...we'll meet too!! Can't wait!!

Just have to get my passport done...i have no idea who's going to counter-sign it for me tho. Was gonna ask my dentist but he's an Aussie and i have no other ideas!! I don't know any policemen, teachers, barristers, bankers...fecking hell!!
If you know me...and if you're ready this i'm guessing you do, read this and if this is you - let me know!!!!
I promise my humble gratitude and and and...a lovely box of chocs, a bottle of wine, beers whatever you want (within reason!)

omfg...2am!!! I love my job, i dont have to 'officially' start till 4pm!! Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

Good night!!


well....yet again i've been needing to come here and post but lacking in time lol.

Ok, so the ex...

we're still on IM being 'friends' but he's getting the block soon. The other week (it's been a while since i posted) we were chatting and i don't remember it word for word but he said something along the lines of 'well, i thought this was your plan to get back together with me' and i admit when he first dumped me i did think if things went bad for him and new g/f and he wanted me back i would take him back but that was just in my grief. I'm not as dumb as i look lol.
There is no way I will ever be someones second choice! he made his choice, and i was never that into him.
So i replied to him.'Oh, no don't worry you're quiet safe there.' There was silence and he logged off.


The other day i was thinking about ex's and one of them came into my head today. This morning i looked through my blocked list on IM but didn't see him there, unless maybe i had remembered his ID wrong...this was a good 4 or 5 years ago! LOL
So a few hours later guess who popped up with a 'hi' yes him - how weird is that!
Now normally i hide on IM as invisible but since i moved onto a new PC a couple of weeks ago i decided to be a bit brave and stay online.
I didn't know what to do as although i liked him...he was with someone else at the time. yes i know, i'm a bitch for that and i'm being punished for that one daily.
So i ignored him hoping he'd go away. About 10 mins later he said 'how are you?' i hit ignore and blocked him. He's my past and i've done some terrible things in my past that i'd rather forget. he is one of them.
Annoying tho....he works in the art gallery so that's out of bounds to me now. damn.

I think i'm just gonna keep busy with work. it's safe there. I do miss being flirty & fun with a guy tho. lucky me tho, i have my fantasy* man for that.

*fantasy as in, it's all on my side.

Bad Poster!


Well, i am bad at posting on here i guess we'll both just have to deal with that LOL.

OK, so, my last post was just over a month ago and i'm totally fine about it all now. To be honest i was totally fine about the following day lol.

Been meaning to post something here for the past few days but i've actually got the time and inclination right now.

I spent way to many years of my adult life single and not having sex (with someone else) that now i've got a taste for it, pardon the pun, i'm really missing it now lol! Yes that's right....